Sitting in the common room with a ridiculous lace headband on my head, waiting for tea to boil and waiting to feel less cranky. I spent the entire day marking essays, feeling stressed about finishing all my U of Guelph responsibilities, making plans to go home for Christmas, and the bills that I haven't paid, and how I should go about collecting health insurance money... I often feel inadequate because I feel like hey, I'm an adult, and for many folks, the tasks are not difficult (if not minimal). So, why am I having such a hard time without feeling overwhelmed?

I have to force myself to be productive because I have no choice. So I work slowly, get distracted and then feel frustrated at myself for "not getting enough done." Blergh, things were so easy in New Haven, but a lot of that had to do with being somewhere where I didn't have a "life" to be responsible for (and the cute boy and cute cat also helped a tremendous amount). I've been sulking about feeling tired since the bus ride home and dreaded going to bed alone. I guess I just need a few days to get my feet back on the ground... feel calm again, and start working on my MRP again... Once the marking is over and the essay is over, I can maybe take a break to collect my thoughts. Hopefully the anxiety of not knowing what's going to "happen next," will wait a few days before it starts to creep up on me again.

The rest of my trip in New Haven was wonderful, though. Adam, Rowan, and I went to the Yale museum of Art (I'm not sure if I blogged about that before), saw neat things, and then headed to Food Not Bombs and met some more New Haven kids. Jeffrey and I copied a lot of zines for the APOC distro, made pancakes for breakfast, took a lot of MacBook photos, watched Born in Flames with Adam and Rowan, ate a ton of Newman-O's, went to the beach, and made seitan. If you haven't already guessed, I really miss those kids and miss spending time with them. Le sigh. I guess I'll have to visit them again, considering that I scored free tickets to New York courtesy of Megabus.com. So, that is something to look forward to. That, and my APOC distro and investing in projects that make me feel good. Now, I'm just worried that I won't know where to put my priorities when I have the time... but then again, I worry about everything and should take it as it comes.

Let me show you more pictures from my trip!

Playing music at Adam's house.

Playing Cat Power covers and digging the nylon guitar strings.

Portia and I.

Adam can't handle Rowan's looing

Smoke Factory

Music at Claire's

Yale Museum of Art

Vegan pancakes

Castle

Beach

More beach