Re: This City is Haunted

I just found out that my friend was fired from her place of employment because she gently explained to a costumer why wearing a "Native" costume was inappropriate. This is another addition to the depressing things that exist in this city (though I can't be naive and assume that it's better anywhere else). I'm just so tired and am starting to feel increasingly tired and paranoid and boxed in so that finding any kind of safety within this city feels almost impossible. And, I've been obsessing in the past few hours about how my students hate me and will probably want to attack me too. I know that a lot of this is irrational but I'm kind of lost and am really bad at self-care/ looking for things that will help me feel safe again. Also, feeling anxious about not having enough of my research project done but being too anxious to do any substantial work on it is yet another vicious cycle that I'm having trouble getting out of- Just when I thought I was getting my shit together and becoming stronger, it all comes crashing down. I think I'm like a cattle dog, I ignore when things are starting to hurt until something substantial breaks.