I found this response to the "you should say it nicely to white people" argument on My Culture is Not a Trend's website. I think it's very fitting given the type of assholes I encounter on a regular basis.
"Politeness derailing is for the comfort of the privileged, the ones that wouldn't have been aware of the reality outside of their fantasy world until they're reminded of it, and would prefer to be gently woken up from their dreams with soothing words and pettings than to be woken up in the same ugly fashion that so many of us are. And then it's our fault for not being gentle enough with them instead of focusing on what we're trying to show them - how ugly and brutal the world can be.
Fuck Being Silenced."
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